messages.

i fucking hate being the messenger.

seriously, in the time that it takes you to tell me to tell the other person; you could have already told the other person and gotten an immediate response instead of waiting for me to tell you what they person said.

talk about inefficient.

what's worse is when you get yelled at for saying "why can't you do it?" well, why CAN'T you do it? YOU'RE the one that wants to know. YOU have the same connections and YOU are the one that needs the information. it doesn't affect me, i can care less if you get the info or not.

in fact, piss me off enough and i WON'T tell you what the other person said, or i won't even ask the other person. if you want to know enough. then you can fucking ask. it's not my problem.

sleep

Katie, hi.

2. in case you forgot, your daddy and brother are both like...giants so they'll be able to take down anyone who breaks in while you call the po-po's >=]

3. OMFG. i feel ya man. seriously, if i haven't been hanging out with everyone lately, i'd really just...let my brain rot and die nowadays. but when i'm actually home and doing something productive (like helping out my family) i end up complaining lots =___=;;

and if borders doesn't hire you then screw them! you can look for another job! =D you should call them up and be like "yo man, what's the dealio with my job?" xD

4. but dun worry bout it, school in the fall means a lot of things: purpose in life is once again restored, we get to see each other ERRDAY =D, and...well, campus will be full of hot guys again >=]

5. this made me sads. =[ but dun think about that kind of stuff! just live and love while you still can!! =D and we can get a puppy together!! =D

8. LOL

9. you. are. writing. a. book. one. of. these. days. >=D

10. you can always talk to me!!! =D

11. i have no idea what you mean...but i'll be your companion!! (not exactly sure what a companion does...but i'll be a companion for ya! =D)

12. KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =[ i should bus to you randomly one of these days. it's pretty quick actually =]

i hope you're able to go sleep now! =D

forever.

Cristina, he's leaving FOREVER.

if only you can be as strong as the statements you make. keep barking, it's all you got.

what pisses me off even more...

...is that you don't even know why i'm pissed.

you just think "oh, tia's just having another one of her fits."

first of all: fuck you.

second of all: fuck your life.

and finally, i'm fucking straight up. all the time. especially when i'm angry. you don't even have to ask me "what's wrong?" i'm already telling you how it is.

the problem isn't with me voicing what's wrong, the problem is you not listening. i don't know how else to tell it like it is other then...telling it how it fucking is. so fuck you for not getting it. it's nothing deeper than what i'm saying. just fucking listen to what i'm fucking saying. there's nothing fucking complicated about it, there's nothing deeper than it. i'm just fucking irritated and i'm at the end of my fucking rope, so when i DO snap, you better start listening or i will fucking cut you.

newly found motivation!

i'll stop fucking around.

i'll stop being cheap.

i'll stop pushing stuff off until it's too late.

i'll swallow my pride when i have to.

i'll think more.

i'll think critically.

i'll think deeply.

i won't let this chance slip my fingers.

i'll learn from my mistakes.

i can't fuck up.

i won't fuck up.

i will own this. >=]

familia.

i don't know why no one believes me when i say i never want to get married or have kids. i don't just say these things, i really mean them.

i have high expectations for parents. especially mothers.

i feel that to be a good mother, you have to be more selfless than selfish. it's impossible, not to mention unhealthy, to be completely selfless; but i still feel that you should put most of the needs of your children before yourself. for example, you should make sure your toddler has finished what they're eating before you can feed yourself.

i don't think i can ever be that selfless. although i do love and care for my younger siblings and nieces and nephews, i ultimately care for my needs first then realize that i have a kid to take care of later.

i know that you have to tend yourself first sometimes so that you are fit enough to care for someone else, but i don't have anything to tend to, but i still tend to my needs first before someone else.

i can't live knowing that someone like me has a kid.

i know there are a lot of worse parents out there; and my expectations might be a little high. but i can't control what other people do. but i can control my own body and decide for myself if i want children or not.

and since i'm so stubborn with this idea, i can't live knowing that i'm keeping another person from having children. it kinda follows the same idea, i'm not selfless enough to get married. marriage is all about compromise, and there are somethings that i'm not willing to compromise, and these aren't minor things, but major things that makes or breaks relationships.

i don't think i can ever live knowing that a man i love wants children, but respects me enough to not have children. if i really do love that man, then i don't know what i would do, because i don't know if i'll love him more than i love myself, same with children.

i'm only willing to get married or have children when i know that i am willing to sacrifice myself for them. and so far, i'm only willing to do that for family.