Protect her.

Do you know what just pisses me off? The fact that people believe that women need protection. First of all, from WHAT?? And second, are we as women completely incapable of protecting ourselves??? What, are we so fragile and weak that we need a big, strong MAN to protect us? Is it a man's DUTY to protect us?? Are we to burden MEN with our weakness and our NEED to be protected??

God. This is possibly one of the most anti-feminist things ever said. EVER. It really pisses me off.

I hate men AND women who believe this. First of all, ladies, do you really think that you cannot provide for yourself? Do you really think that you need a man in your life just so you can be protected?? And gentlemen, do you really think that a woman cannot care for herself? That without you there helping her that she'll be doomed??

FUCK THAT.

Reality check everyone, men and women are EQUAL. Equal!!! Does anyone understand what that means anymore?? To me, it means that a woman is just as capable of being self-sustaining as a man is, but also that a woman needs a man as much as a man needs a woman. It's like symbiosis (ok, i googled that, but seriously, who remembers that from freshman bio?) we all need each other in order to surviveeeeee.

yeah. so that's my speel for the day. =d

Why so...emo???

You know, I love reading blogs. I really do. There are times when I'm like...just sitting on facebook...bored because I finished all of my games and I'm just stalking my friends when I realize that "hey! I didn't stalk anyone's thoughts today!" then I get on here and start reading blogs. You know, all blogs, even the short ones reveal a lot but also causes a lot of confusion. If I pissed someone off but am unsure about how pissed off they are, they usually write about me in their blog...then I know...then I'm not sure what to do the next time I see that person. o.O I just hope that blogging cooled off their minds a little lol.

But that's a trend I notice...people only blog when they have something to say, and they usually only have something to say...when they're angry...so a lot of blogs I read are really hostile or emo. o.O

That's so strange!!!

I mean, it makes it seem like some of the people I know have this complete alter ego, it's so SCARY sometimes! It's like, "you're not this...hostile in real life...are you??" And then I start questioning how much I really do know people...o.o

I mean...I dunno...maybe it is because people only blog when they want to release some tension inside or something, I know I do that and I just rant about how sucky life is...but then I started wondering, do I do that all the time?? So, being paranoid, I started to read my blogs, and seriously, if I wasn't me and I read my blog...I'd think that I'd have an alter ego too...o.O.

BLAH. It's too WEIRD!! lol

"I'll do me"

Ok, I just realized that the title sounds bad...but it's from the phrase! "I'll do me" basically...I'm gonna be me no matter what. And I'm a strong supporter of that phrase. I feel that you have to change your behavior around certain people, like you won't behave the same when you're with your boss and when you're with your friends. Heck, you aren't even the same when you're by yourself. But I feel that you should always remain true to yourself. Everyone should used the same adjective to describe you no matter who they are to you in your life. For example, you may be more formal with you boss, and you may be more of a party animal with your friends, but both groups of people should describe you the same, (I'll use nice examples this time) "kind, creative, goes to the beat of his/her own drum" things like that. What I have a problem with is two faced people. Like, when two different groups of people would not recognize you if they saw the "other you."

I'm not saying that you can't be a party animal and a good citizen, but you're either a classy party animal or you're a slutty citizen. You cannot be both a party animal and a good citizen, if you find that you are, you're two faced.

Yes, there is a personal life and a professional life, but you should still be YOU in both those lives. If someone from your workplace was to come into your personal life or if someone from your personal life should come to your workplace, they should not be all that surprised at what you do. I'm not talking about the little stuff like, they don't know that you paint as a hobby or that you like slasher films. No, I'm talking about the things that make up the essence of your being. When someone sees a completely different person....that's because there is a completely different person and that means that you're two faced.

But the people that piss me off even more than two faced people are...I'm not sure if there's a word out there for them, I'm sure I'm the only person who feels this way, but the people who think they're too good for everyone else. Not like...I dunno, I'll explain.

Like say, you love skinny jeans. You see them on the rack in the back of a department store, and you put them on and you're in love. You just love how you look skinny in them and you love how they fit. So you wear them around, not caring about all the weird looks you get. A few months later, everyone has them, they're the latest trend. So you're all like, "oh, everyone has them, I don't want them anymore."

BULLSHIT. I hate these people the most. The "non-trend followers." What? You think you started a whole trend by yourself? Sure. Fine. Whatever. But if you like a look, or not even a look, but a piece of clothing or an accessory or even a drink but you stop "liking" it simply because everyone else likes it? BULL-FUCKEN-SHIT.

I personally think, that if you really don't care about what everyone else thinks, if you're really doing your own thing, then keep doing your own thing! Let the trends come and go, YOU ARE NOT A TREND. You are you! So what if everyone thinks "oh, they're only wearing it because it's in" or "that's so out of style" then let them think it! If you're in love with how you look, then everyone looking like you shouldn't matter! You are you! You may look weird today, but that might be the cool thing tomorrow! It doesn't matter, your look is your look! If you use your look to define you then let it define you! If you change it to match the latest trends or if you change it to look different from the latest trends then you're not really doing it for you, are you? You're not really doing "you" are you? You're doing "society" or "anti-society"

What am I trying to say?? If it isn't clear enough, I'm trying to say that, if you're really expressing yourself through how you look, then keep expressing yourself, it doesn't matter what's "in" and what's not, if everyone looks like you, then fine, they look like you; if they don't look like you, then they don't. YOU look like you.

Carefree...or careless??

Hmmm...today, I'm being a good student! Yeah! For the first time this semester! I kicked myself off facebook TWO TIMES to continue studying! OMG! I've never done that before! And from studying I've found what I need to work on and what I'm good at! yay!! I've even prepared some questions to ask at the study session!! OMFG...this is what productivity really is...and I've only been at it for three hours! wow...I feel REALLY good about this! I'm so excited for this exam tomorrow!! =D yes. i. is. excited.

And yesterday! I did TWO assignments! (One of them being my "final"!) OMG! I finally did something EARLY for German! I really wanted to like...turn in my assessment early for Comm A but...didn't work...but I turned it in on time! And I feel that it was a really thoughtful and heartfelt assessment/reflection. =D

Speaking about reflections...I've been reflecting on my...life. And well...to be put in a few words...

I'm scared out of my mind.

I'm not like...emo about it or anything, but that's the scary part!! It seems like I have no motivation and when I do get little sparks of motivation, it lasts about an hour...then I like...stop. o.O It's the strangest thing!

I mean, I like don't CARE about anything anymore! I don't care about my grades, I don't care about my major, I don't care about PK...I dun care about anything or anyone!!! WTF???

So. I've made up my mind. I'm going to get my ass kicked. That's right. Get my ass kicked. I've been SPOILED my whole life, my parents have given me everything I need to survive, and I don't even have to do anything in return except for the dishes. My siblings have experienced all the wrong things in life, so I can be aware of them, and again...I don't have to do anything. But my not doing anything...I'm not doing anything!! I need to like...get out there in the cold, cruel world, get my ass raped by it, then come back as a valuable person! yay!! That's my plan...

But I don't want to do it alone...and I don't think I have to, but every time I try to do things all by my onesy self...things get REALLY messed up, and the sad thing is, it's just not for me, but I somehow manage to get like half of the world involved too. 0.o

But when I do it with some "help" I always develop this very strong dependency on the other person or people...and end up not contributing anything. o.O

So I dunno whats to do...I think I just have to find a balance between both. yeah. balance.

I mean, I need to gain some independence...but I can't be an antisocial...sociopath lol.

so. this is my first step. i'm studying. BY MYSELF. without the distraction of friends or family. but i plan on going to my sister either later today or tomorrow (well....I'm sleeping over anyway so oh well) and going over my studies. =D

I guess it's good that I got this...on finals week...but better late then never huh? I can start the Spring semester with a whole new outlook on life! =D And next year! OMG! When I finally move out so I can REALLY discipline myself with...money and time management!!

...gosh...I'm growing up so fast...it's SCARY. (that's why i is scared)

I'M FUNNA BLOG TODAY!

Ok...a lot of folks have approached me and...told me that I haven't been blogging...I'M SO SORRY!!!

I like really thought that I would blog like...everyday because I love ranting. Fo' real. I remember I used MySpace as a blog...yeah, strange. But that's because I didn't bother to look for blogging sites or anything...then I realized that I had friends that blogged, so I had to stalk their thoughts, so I started a page/site/thingy here too...and I was really looking to blogging hardcore then getting discovered by like some super book publisher dude who really liked my blog...and publishes it...but then I realized that my life has to be melodramatic enough to be entertaining...and I'm not a good story teller like vanilla j-furr...so...fail...

Anyway, I have a blog in the works, but it's kind of a pissed-off rant and...it's the holidays right now...so I'm not really pissed off...a little stressed (not over finals, surprisingly) but not pissed enough to put any emotion into that blog...so I'll wait until i is pissed. =D

SO, what I wanted to accomplish with this post is to say...HAPPY HOLIDAYS! No matter which ones you celebrate, no matter what time of the year you celebrate them! Who cares?! No school! Go outside and eat snow!!!

Turning My (school) Life Around!!!

OMG, I'm such a nerd, I'm always blogging about school...well, since I don't have much of a life outside of school, I guess that's why it's all I have to talk about. =D

First and foremost: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TRINITY!!!!!

Yes, today is my niece's birthday; sadly, I cannot spend the day with her. =( In fact, this morning, I was cramming for my Deutsch quiz and spent the whole morning thinking about strong and weak German verbs and was totally unaware that it was her birthday...=( Not only that, but I was also like...planning my whole day out: German Quiz at 10, Linguistics discussion at 2, HASA at 6, then study session at 8. Yeah, the only day that I'm busy, and it's my niece's birthday. FML.

Anyway, I like have so much to say..but I haven't been blogging lately so yeah...sucky.

BUT! I'll start with MONDAY. Like OMG, worst Monday of my LIFE. I think I'm over it now, actually, I was over it by Tuesday morning, but still, it makes me want to kick some ass. Anyway, I had a speech due on Monday morning at 9, in this speech I was supposed to have revised my speech outline and have a visual aid handy. Being the bad student that I am, I had neither. And to add to that, I had left my backpack with only my Comm A stuffs and laptop at my dear friend's dorm room that weekend. Well, I figure since I get to class an hour early anyway, that should be enough time for me to bullshit some revision (at this time I had completely forgotten about the visual aid) so, I call up my friend the evening before; now this friend has a tendency of losing her phone over the weekend (actually constantly but that's besides the point) and when I got her voicemail, I hoped to God that she at least gets her phone by Monday morning. She didn't, so I call her before I leave the house on Monday and she doesn't pick up, well, it's early I figured and so I go an wait for the bus. WELL, the bus actually MISSES me. That's right, the bus missed ME. I was there five minutes early, at the same time, at the same place that I always am on Monday mornings. It was the same freakin' bus driver too, AND I was wearing a bright blue sweater. So, there's absolutely NO FREAKIN' way for her to have missed me. But she did!! Like OMG...she missed me! She even slowed down like she was gonna pick me up, but she never did!! There was another bus that was coming in another half hour, and on a regular day, I wouldn't have minded, but today I had some procrastination to do! Like OMG, of all the other days!!! So, of course, furious, I reported a...complaint...I really think that's an exaggeration on my part but again, if it was any other day I wouldn't have cared, but it just HAD to be on the day I had to work.

Anyway, I get to class 30 minutes later than I expected but I was like, "Ok, I'll just bust ass and get my stuff done." I call my friend about 935035802709752764018 times to tell her I was gonna come get my stuff, I even go to the dorm to try and get to her room, I couldn't get up to her room because I didn't have a key and couldn't get past the first floor, so I couldn't get my stuff. So, I'm here at this dorm, looking like a creeper, with none of my school stuff, with a paper to bullshit and I had less than 30 minutes to do it! So, that was a bummer morning, I rush to the library to bust ass on my paper, thankfully I saved it onto my webspace, and I fixed it up! yay! I thought, but then I realized that I needed a visual aid...that caught me off guard. So I bullshitted some stuff on Microsoft Word and got my "visual aid."

So, I get to class LATE and not only that, I forgot my VHS to videotape my speech as I deliver it...so yeah...I don't think my TA likes me anymore. On top of that, I didn't upload my 'revised' paper and didn't print out my sources for my paper either. AND I butchered my speech. If I get a D on this speech, it would be because my TA is über nice.

And that's before 10 in the morning...the rest of my classes go fine. And I had a lunch date with a dear friend of mine, so I figured that my day would turn around! Well, after eating Sbarro and drinking bubble tea, we go and explore! yay! Well...for some reason, I start getting REALLY sick! How sick you my ask? Well...I puked in public behind some trees...yeah...right there in the open...it was pretty sick. So, I had to leave my friend early and went to my sister's place to take a much needed nap. An hour later, I feel just a-ok! And my sister took me out to eat at a nice restaurant. =d

Moral of the story: sisters make everything better. =D

WOW...that was quite a rant.

But! Today was a lot better!! Even though I forgot my niece's birthday, I go to German class and find out that I've actually improved as a student!! yay!!! Lately, I've been slacking like..hardcore, but we got verb quizzes back and I find that I've been getting 100% on all of them!! yay!! So, that inspired me to be a better student! So after I publish this, I'm going to study!! =D

Wow...this blog had everything...FML, MLIA, and GMH!! =D

Blogging like everyone else

Heyyy

OMG, so like Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize and of course, EVERYONE blogs about it; and since I'm such a conformist, I'll blog about it too!! =D

Okay, so this summer I took like a "Gandhi" course and as we all know, Gandhi never won the nobel peace prize (yeah) and he like...helped led India to independence! (Notice I said "helped" not "brought") Not only that, but Nelson Mandela also like...did whatever with apartheid in South Africa (well, he won a NPP but that's besides the case).

My point is, these guys actually accomplished something, it took years and years and lots of...blood and tears (omg! that rhymed!) but these guys started something that led to something great, which won them world wide fame (and sometimes a NPP!) And Obama hasn't even...started anything yet! I believe that in a decade or so, Obama will be very deserving of the npp, but right now, right this instant, he's just getting started! It's like granting a high school freshman a full-ride scholarship to Harvard, the student might have all the potential in the world, but they haven't done anything yet.

And the thing that pisses me off the most about this issue is that people make it into an issue of race (dundundun the "r" word!!). I mean...WTFFFFFFFF maybe it's underlying somewhere the race thing, but I think it's been blown out of proportion, again, like the people I mentioned above: Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, they ain't white! The Nobel Peace Prize ain't about race it's about keeping the peace!! It's incredibly ironic how the NPP caused this big controversy! Who the hell is on the board anyway???

Going Out to Lunch!

Ok, I have ten minutes to spare before I have to meet up with Vanilla J-Fer for lunch, so I decided to start blogging because Evan kept telling me to! =D

Anyway...yeah, so I have nothing to talk about...so like a nerd, I'll talk about school! =D

Well, yesterday, I go to my Linguistics lecture, and everyone's like FREAKING out, and I'm sitting there like, "why's everyone freaking out??" Well, just then the professor comes up and says, "Ok, I'm passing out the exams now, put your books away" So yeah, I had an exam and I think I was the only one in a room of about 400 people that didn't know that. =D

So, I don't think I did very well, I bullshitted most of it and actually the scary part is that I don't even care if I get a good grade or not! =[ I really need to get passionate and excited about school again!!! =[

I mean...damn, I'm a bad ass student, most kids when I say this to them just replies "oh yeah, me too, I slack so much" but this is MADISON, so most of these kid's definition of "slacking" might just be not doing the reading for the day, unlike ME who hasn't even read all nine chapters of my Anthro book for the exam! AND I have the exam later on today (I at least remembered this one! =D)

So yeah...I don't belong here and I don't know why I came here or why I'm struggling so much to stay...=[
But I'll have lots of fun on the way, so yay!!!! =D

Yay!!

Ok! So after Cristina and Evan told me about the amazingness of blogging...I joined!! yay peer pressure!! =d