end of the world.

patrick swayzee
liz taylor
michael jackson
steve jobs


...countless others that i can't exactly remember right now....

good lord. god's taking back all of his gifts. we're fucked. the world really is ending.

Dear God, please let this work out

God. What the fuck am I doinggg. Fail!!!

I admit, I miss late night texting

relationship status

you know i used to think people had senses of humor and didn't take everything so seriously.

like facebook relationship statuses. yeah people are in "civil unions" and are "married" and all that fun stuff. it's 'immature' i guess but you know what, it's in all good fun. and if someone was single and searching, don't you think that they'll be just a touch more aggressive in looking for a relationship than someone just looking for a good time (sexual and non-sexual :D)???


seriously. if my (non-existent) relationship life really was complicated, or if i was going through a rough patch; i sure as hell won't post that shit on facebook! i sure as hell am not gonna get into a fight with my partner on their wall or post no shit about nothing because you know what? that shit's personal. and i won't bring it up in an everyday conversation so why the hell would i advertise that shit on facebook?

i thought that people had the sense to know that if i put my relationship status as "it's complicated" to realize that i'm kinda kidding around. you know what, life is complicated, sometimes everything's not black and white. what if i was the type to have a lot of really close guy friends and a couple fuck buddies? then once having a guy that i want to have an exclusive relationship with will definitely complicate the shit out of stuff! or what if i'm simply not looking for a relationship? because that will complicate stuff too, what if someone is really ready to make a commitment to me and i just don't want that right now? feelings are complicated and not everyone who is single is looking for a relationship.

and you know what sucks even more? why CAN'T i be single? do i always need to be talking to somebody or interested in somebody? i don't go around looking for relationships and don't hit on every hot guy i see because honestly, if i could stay out of a relationship, i'd do it. ugh. i hate meddling people who think that just because i'm single means that i'm lonely and unhappy and i need somebody to complete me. no. i'm good with just me. i'm not incomplete as a person, i don't need nobody to complete me because i'm already all here. i don't need nobody to love me because i already love myself. to be honest, if i'm single for the rest of my life i think i will still live a very fulfilling life. but no. apparently not. i need a wingman or a matchmaker to set me up with some hot guys; i need to go out to the clubs and bring home somebody, even if it's for the night; i need to go out there and find my freaking soulmate or something.

and i don't. i'm perfectly happy being "by myself" i'm perfectly happy not being in a relationship so thank you very much.

now back to the topic of facebook relationship statuses.

if you go look at my profile, i took off my relationship status because...you know what, i don't want to deal with that shit anymore. i don't want people to think that i'm looking for a relationship just because it says i'm single, i don't want people to think that i'm in a bad relationship because it says "it's complicated" i don't want people to think i'm immature because i'm in a civil union with one of my girlfriends.

so simply put, i don't want to be identified by my relationship status, i want to be seen for who i really am and that's just me. even if i had a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, multiple partners or whatever, i don't want them to be seen as something that defines me because they don't. i mean, why do people judge you so much on who you're dating anyway? they don't judge you on your friends or family as much (even though they do still judge you based on those relationships too...) as who you're dating. like...why does it matter? you can't help who your family is, you can't help who you fall in love with. if we could control who we fall in love with, then i'd be in love with someone totally legit amazing. i mean, if we could choose who we fall in love with then nobody would be gay because they can choose to fall in love with the "appropriate" gender. and nobody would marry assholes because they would choose the nice guy.

ok, so we went off on a tangent, as always. but anyway what i'm trying to say is...people need to get a sense of humor again.

It's scary when you see your own flaws in someone else...

"don't take this the wrong way"

how else am i supposed to take "you look better with the lights off"?! o.o is that a GOOD thing???


and how is "you look like a princess" an insult??? o.o


i'm so confused.

i think it's a skill...

...that i can distract myself more than anyone else in the world can. o.o

Historians hate me T-T

o.O

how do i get myself in this situation all the time?? o.o

hanging out with rich folk is weird...

gosh

rereading our past conversations makes me wonder if you ever respected me.

Ohhhh you've ruined so many things for me.

happy birthday to you~

there's this one restaurant, i don't remember what it's called, but it has a special for graduates and birthdays.

and i remember i was a little offended by that because i felt that...why are birthdays celebrated on the same level as a gradation? you work hard as hell to graduate, at almost every level, but on a birthday you just survive another year. at first, i saw it as almost a slap to the face.

however, i thought about it some more. and then i realized that...surviving is HARD. and you have to endure and survive in order to get your degree.

and i thought about it even more. and then i realized that everyday, we face millions of things that can potentially kill us. not eventually, but immediately. it's amazing how we even live through the night.

and after even further thinking. i realized that life is extremely precious, and deserves celebration. and that it is an accomplishment to remain alive, to take our first gift and still utilize it the best we can.

it really shouldn't bother me

but it's driving me crazy.

lyrics from neyo's "let go"


and this is how i feel about freakin' ugh everything.


i hate being on my period. everything annoys me. EVERYTHING.

and i always want to eat. all the time. ugh. i want to eat right now.

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

life. hate. now.

Siiiigh reading his tweets makes me fall more in loves with him :)

oh, but i can have it all. :D

no offense!

i know it's all in a matter of opinion, but my opinion isssss

modest mouse > lupe fiasco ALL DAY

without a doubt

i have done whatever it is that i could have done.
maybe i could have done more. maybe.
but i did what i could, and that should have been enough.

i doubted myself a lot, maybe i could have cared more, shared more, gave more, but i cared, shared and gave what i did. and i don't regret giving the effort i did.

i do admit, it's kinda sad seeing us going the same direction but not together. but our paths have forked and even though it appears that we are going the same way now, our destinations are meant to be different. and i guess it's a good thing that we split when we did, not earlier, not later.

yet another guys post.

guys.

dudes.

fellas.


they're such distractions aren't they? it's like...i know what i have to do, but you're making it a little hard to do what i gotta do. always gettin' in the way. right when i get my head on straight you knock it out of place. right when i commit to something, you make me commit to something else.


gosh. i fucking hate guys.

fucking japanese reading.

quit relating to my life. you're making me want to kill myself. and quit giving me ideas on how to commit suicide.

I'm a distraction.

siiigh

you'll always be my #1 :D

call it what you want

you call it passion, i call it blind.

challenges for tomorrow

1. don't touch the like button (except for games)
2. don't go hahhaa or lol or any variation
3. don't update status.
4. don't die.

if the world's going to be so goddamn small...

...why can't i somehow get connected to some sexy people??????????? SERIOUSLY. why can't some random person i know know a bunch of hotties?? why can't EVERYONE i know just know ONE cutie and i'll be satisfied. i really will be. but nooooOOOOooOOoOOO they just gotta know EACH OTHER instead of cuties. wtf. not cool.

imu

i really do. damn facebook.

and the "u" is for "us"
i mean, i miss you too, but...you're still here. and i'm still here. but we are not here. i miss us.

time is a bitch.

oh baby he's so cruel, but i'm still in love with judas baby

i've learned love is a brick; you can build a house or sink a body.

though i've let go of the brick that's sinking me, i still have to teach myself to swim to the surface again. but hey, you're not holding me down anymore. the final ties have been finally cut. and thanks so much for making it so easy for me.

it's so rare to see you so cold but thank you for being excessively brutal at the right time. i don't think i could have been able to handle it any other way. i don't never feel like we vibin' because every time we're alone, it's an awkward silence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RUSRxTpI80).

5 minutes. that's all it took. for me to finally be completely free from you. to finally see clearly what i couldn't before and to finally just...get you. i'm sorry that i couldn't understand you earlier. but i finally understand you now. if you want me out, then i'm on my way (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xodmwwNV18w). but thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK8Ri0COF1w).

If I say it enough, I'll start to believe it.

strangers again...

DON'T BE A FUCKING SHADY BITCH, BITCH. I KNOW YOU KNOW ME.


by the way, GREAT video. i have always loved phil. ah...phil....

maybe...

we do need each other

Everything happens for a reason :D

neglect

neglect the whole world before you neglect each other.






awwwwww

i'm not over it.

sigh.

i mistook a typo for his name and...my heart skipped. then i was disappointed when it wasn't him.







=___________________________=


i have issues that i really need to sort out.

why is it...

...that ladies, no matter how small our titties are, we'll wear bras. and dudes, no matter how large your mammary glands are, will not wear a bra?

you're my favorite mistake

and i ain't even mad. =]

this dumb bitch

lmfao. thank you. you a trip. and you a wimp. thank you. make my life easy and entertaining. :D

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo

i want to be special!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-T

run, bitch, run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love brotips xD

but yeahhhh you besta start runnin' brah.

tease.

and you don't even know it.

reeeeevenge!!!

i honestly hope that you meet people who fulfill your happiness and gives you endless joy. because i want to be the one to make you feel pain.

subliminal messages.

vote.

for my party.

MISS MEEEE

because i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu :D

o.o

i don't think i have feelings.


this is rather disturbing.


i want to test this out.




cryfest?? if i cry, i have feelings????????????????

feeling special

ain't that the truth.

OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i'm wayyyyy too happy for this..................................










ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my heart blew up a little. just a little.















god. i'm so freakin' emotional right now. that's it, only 3 cans of soda before 7 now.

i just realized...

that we were never as close as i thought we were. and i think it's about time you realize that too

hypocrites.

don't you just love them???

it's like...when they're bitchin' and moanin' and complainin' sometimes i'm like "omg, who told you i thought that bout you???" but then they're really talking about someone else?? HAHA

it's quite sad really, how delusional people are about themselves. they think so highly of themselves and judge others so quickly and strongly when really, they're almost exactly the same.

and it's hilarious when someone bitches about someone else so horribly behind their backs and act super friendly to their face! it's like...wow...thank you. say it on facebook because you don't have the balls to say it to my face. thank you so much. now the world can see you for who you are, and i don't have to say shit.

ah. see. that's why i love hypocrites so much. they really take the workload off of you. they're so lost in their own illusions that they don't realize that they're not fooling anyone and that everyone can see just exactly who they are.

i ain't even gotta say shit to nobody about anything because actions speak louder than words and you're out there baby. :D i don't know who you're frontin', but it's not working because we see right past you...in fact, you're invisible. you scream all you want because no one's listening. you talk all the shit you want but, we all eat our words, so at least make sure it's sweet. :]

today...

...feels weird.

it started off kinda weird and a little rocky. but...for some reason, given the events of today, i don't feel as...stressed.

i don't know why, but for some reason i'm not freaking out over anything, i'm not overwhelmed by anything and i sure as hell do not feel under pressure about anything!

it's so weird...it's like...really nice. i'm like...just...freeeeee

he's. gay.

he'sgayhe'sgayhe'sgayhe'sgayhe'sgayhe'sgay










='[

control.

it's sad that you need to be controlled by something. i personally prefer to be the one in control.

Sigh, I do not deserve all of this...

oh. hell. naw.

think i don't know about all this talk? think i'm so unaware of what everyone's saying about me??

"oh, tia done gone and got her heart broke. poor girl."


let me tell you something. i'm not the fucking victim; i'm the bad guy.

i'm not afraid to get hurt, i'm not afraid to care and i'm not afraid to get beat up so bad that i can't stand straight; i'll still get up and do it all over again if i can.

i never slipped, i never got my guard down, and yes, i still did get hurt but i never crumbled; i came back stronger.

i am aware of who i am. no matter who tells me otherwise, my image of myself does not change. i was never manipulated, i was never wooed and i sure as hell was never blinded. i saw it from the start, i shied away from it because i wanted to fall, i wanted to feel and most of all, i wanted to forget.

but none of that ever happened, eventually the drunken illusion lifted and i realized that this was all a big waste of time. it was all caused by me, it was all created by me; so the fault is all mine. and because i accept that, i was able to get past this.

You talkin' to me? Bitch, you talkin' to me?!

Cause if that's the case, hi :D

oh shit

i think my ego's a bit too big sometimes. oh well :D there's a reason why it's big :]

Rawrrrr testing!!!

fate

>*click*<

i think everything happens for a reason.

you may not realize it right now, but there's a reason why you meet the people you do, why you have the relationships you have and why things happen the way they do. for a while i followed the "forget the people from your past, there's a reason why they're not in your future" ideology but...now that i think of it, that's not the full truth.

there's a lot of decisions you're going to make in life that you'll regret, but what you should never regret is actually making that decision. because what you regret isn't making the decision, it's the events that follow. but at the time, even if i know the outcome..i'll probably still go through with it. i'll just be cautious.

i feel that if something was meant to happen, then it will happen. and if it isn't supposed to happen, then it never would have. i feel that it's chance that we meet the people we do, but we develop the relationships we do because it's supposed to help us become better people, make us stronger individuals and teach us lessons. i don't regret any relationships that i've ever been in because i come out of them learning something more about myself. i become more in tune with who i am and what i am capable of and because of that, i want to thank everyone who has come into my life, whether they stayed a part of it or not, they have made an impact on who i am today and i am forever grateful that you have helped me grow.

whichever path i'm supposed to be on, whoever i'm supposed to meet, and whatever i'm supposed to do, i'm not sure if i'm exactly ready for it, but all i know is that i'll take it as it is.

one last one for you

sorry i wasted your time

and sorry i burdened you

and sorry i lied

and sorry i expected so much out of you

and sorry i blamed you for my own problems

and sorry i wasn't what you expected

and sorry for demeaning you

and sorry for humiliating you

and sorry for embarrassing you

and sorry my laptop doesn't work right

and sorry for offending you

and sorry for insulting you

and sorry for leading you on

and sorry for hurting you, if i ever did

and sorry for distracting you

and sorry for not giving you what you want

and sorry for ignoring you

and finally, thanks. for everything.

vaya con dios, mi amor.

ha.

i love when i don't even have to say anything, you make yourself look stupid :D

now that i think of it...

it's really amazing how transparent people are...but they think they're hiding stuff :/

:D

i love us!

if i had a star...

...for every time that you've brighten my day, i'd live in the dark.


thank god for artificial lights.

=[

i miss my babies.

sigh.

god. i fail as an art student. maybe i should just give up now and major in science or something.

blahhhh

i'm a terrible person.

imaginary tattoos

i effin' love tattoos. if i wasn't so afraid of commitment, i'd be inked already.

but what i hate is when people who are against tattoos say "imagine what it'll look like when you're like 80"

honestly? think that's gonna stop me? i'm gonna be a BADASS grandma with a boa constrictor devouring a dragon tattoo all the way down my back (that's right, a snake eating a dragon.) maybe having a tramp stamp won't be the best idea...but honestly, even if you were a hot 20 year old, it doesn't look all that good...just makes you a wee bit trashy.
and you know what? imagine your face, or your boobs, or your ass, or your arms even when you're 80, they're going to be saggy, wrinkly and they gonna stank. but y'know what, no one's amputating their arms or legs or ripping their skin off; so why y'all gotta hate on tats for? shooo.

on a weird segway, i love henna. because it's more permanent than markers but not as permanent as tattoos! it's just awesome! xD and it just looks cool!! I WANT HENNA.

geez.

it's weird as hell how much attention you get when you get into a relationship. people act like it's such a big fucking deal. it really isn't! god. you get some random ass people coming up to you all like "who's your bf?" "who's that guy on fb?" "omg, that was your man?" shiiiiit. it's like "fuck, you never come up to me just to say 'hi' before, but now that i'm involved, i'm all of a sudden the most interesting thing in the world???" shiiit. i think busting my mouth is a hell of a lot more interesting than getting into a relationship. people get into relationships all the time, but not everyone gets into a skiing accident! wtf. weird people. it's obvious where their priorities are.

but the most annoying thing, is when they don't even see me as myself anymore it's always "you and your bf" "you and your bf" "you and your bf" what, am i not invited if he doesn't come along? shit. sorry bout that, but i still have a life of my own. fuck.

FUCK YOU.

FUCK YOU AND YOU.

みなちゃん。。。

別れたくない。。。<3

speak your mind, eh?

if you're going to regret saying it, just don't say it at all.

hm.

sometimes i wish i gave a fuck. but i don't.

but what i do care about is the fact that the world isn't just black and white. the world isn't even a fucking grayscale. there's colors of different hues, saturations, tints and shades. (yes, i spend way too much time coloring).

so why the fuck do people keep acting like there's only two sides to an issue?

if life was that easy, the world wouldn't be so angry.

honestly, sometimes not giving a fuck isn't a bad thing. we don't have to have a fucking opinion on every fucking issue.

and omfg, we don't need to be so fucking "passionate" about something. shit. and even if we are, we should still be considerate about other people, maybe they don't give a rat's ass no matter how much we talk about something.

what's the worse is when people get all caught up in the fucking hysteria. sure you care, but not half as much as you think you do, so stop acting like you're going to save the fucking world and just stfu.

100 things i like!

i'm stealing this from katie! :D

1. i like you!
2. i like cupcakes.
3. i like red velvet cheesecake
4. i like cheesecake ice cream
5. i like sudoku
6. i don't like japanese. but i like it too
7. i like to paint
8. i like to draw
9. i like charcoal
10. i like mixing paints!
11. i like to read
12. i like to listen to music
13. i like to eat
14. i like eating good food!
15. i like eating out
16. i like spicy food
17. I LOVE SAM
18. i love all my nieces and nephews actually, i just really miss holding sam right now
19. aww, i miss hugging titus
20. i miss hugging tyra too
21. i miss trinityyyyy
22. oh, this changed didn't it. well yeah. i like my babies. all of them
23. i miss and love my grandma
24. i like peter
25. i like darell
26. i love eric
27. i like jokes!
28. i like to laugh
29. i like my new smile
30. i like my goofy smile
31. i like long showers
32. i like long naps
33. i love to sleep
34. i like pepsi
35. i like soda in general actually
36. i love children's movies. especially from my own childhood.
37. I. LOVE. WALL-E. he's my ideal boyfriend.
38. i like singing/screaming at the top of my lungs
39. i like my sisters
40. i like my brothers
41. i like my parents
42. i like my friends! <3 y'all
43. i like my ta's, they're all always super nice
44. i like to play jokes :D
45. i like chatting
46. i like when people initiate chats, it doesn't matter who they are or what they want to talk about :D
47. i like meeting new people!
48. i like catching up with people!
49. i like my people!!!!!!!!!!!!
50. i like sleeping with sam
51. i like max and chikom's conversations
52. i like talking to max
53. i like talking to chikom
54. i love conversations with my grandma
55. i like laughing until i cry
56. i like to read. books, blogs, magazine articles, facebook pages. the only thing i probably don't like reading is...class readings...
57. i like late night talks
58. i like waking up in the morning feeling like a ray of sunshine
59. i like that feeling when you feel shitty and you go to sleep and you wake up feeling like a million bucks~
60. i love to play tetris
61. i love games in general. even the ones i'm not good at :D
62. i like meat.
63. i like veggies too.
64. i like...foodlike substances...
65. i like chocolate. the darker the chocolate, the richer the taste!
66. i love it when my grandma comes over
67. i love it when sam and max come over
68. i love it when titus, trinity and tyra come over
69. i love it when my whole entire family is together
70. i love that feeling of completeness when everyone i lurves is together and just for a few hours, the world makes sense
71. even though i don't like doing homework, i like getting homework done
72. i like eskimo kisses
73. i like butterfly kisses
74. i like snuggling with my favorite person, sam!!!!
75. i like shopping for baby clothes!!!
76. i like shopping for baby shoes!!!!!!!!!!
77. i love how i can find clothes that fit me in the children's section! i guess this means that my tastes are very childish and immature...but fuck it, it's cheap :D
78. i like pancakes
79. i like waffles
80. i like waffle wednesday
81. i love us.
82. i love hugs!!!
83. i like texting
84. i like getting excited!
85. i like getting scared!!!!!!!!!!!!
86. i love awesome surprises!
87. i love surprising people!!!!!!!!!!!!
88. i love making the people i love feel loved <3
89. i love music
90. i loveloveloves my grandma. i love her smile. i love her stories. i love how she tells her stories. i love her great cooking. i love her company. i love...everything about her.
91. i love when people get me
92. i love photoshop
93. i like facebook!
94. i love blogging~
95. i like free food!!
96. i like to creep on people!
97. i love when people offer to go downstairs with me!
98. i love getting carried! piggy back rides, getting picked up and moved to the side because i'm in the way...all that good stuffs
99. i like my passwords
100. i like that i'm finally done with this!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG it actually took a while to finish this...it's hard to think of things you like...finding things you hate or dislike is much much easier. :D

=]

i'm all different kinds of happy.

love and trust

‎"I trust you" is better than "I love you" cause you may not always trust the person you love but you can always love the person you trust.

this was on my brother's status. :/

i tried to be a smart aleck and was all like "trust and love go hand in hand"

but seriously...

depending on who's saying it, i would much prefer "i love you" because to me, "love" already has the implications of trust in it.

god, trust is so freaking overrated in the first place, i fucking hate it when people are all whiny and shit like "oh, i trusted you and you broke my trust" "i used to trust the human race but now i don't even know" "i used to trust people but i keep getting hurt" "you can only trust yourself in this world" blahblahblahblahfreakin'blah.

seriously, you trust a lot of people to do a lot of things. there's different degrees of trust that's all.

you trust that the bus driver does his/her job well and gets you to where you need to go on time. you trust that your professor/ta's are grading your shit without their own bias against you. hell, you freaking trust the random strangers anywhere to not be some crazy motherfucker who will shank your ass.

so why even bother putting trust on a motherfuckin pedestal? people overrate trust so much and sure, you're gonna trust some people a little bit too much. sometimes you think you're a little bit too safe and sometimes, just sometimes, you have a slip of judgement and that shit sucks. but hey, life goes on.

yep. it was for you.

okok, this was for you, but i clicked "publish" instead of "save" and it wasn't done yet. so yeah. sorry bout that. little sneak preview, that's all. but, here it is:

i don't think this is going to fit on a valentine's day card.

but you keep saying i should write about more interesting stuff, so i'll write about your favorite subject. you.*

*that is a link. click on it.

DISCLAIMER: um...ladies, i don't think you'll enjoy this post very much, sorry bout that. maybe it's best if you don't read this at all :D

ok, back to you.

remember that one conversation when we were talking about "why me?" and like...somehow you were able to come up with some pretty awesome, legit reasons for why you're with me and i couldn't come up with reasons why i'm with you? well, i've been thinking about it (a LOT) and here are some reasons why i keep ya around.

no matter how offensive, tasteless and degrading your jokes are, they always manage to make me laugh.

you're extremely considerate

you talk a LOT. but i feel that we talk about things that i wouldn't talk to anyone else about. and i really enjoy our conversations.

ok. this is probably the thing i love most about you, and it will probably the the one characteristic of you that i'll continue to respect you for after you leave me for a white girl. you're... unbelievably kind and understanding. almost to the point where you make mother teresa look like a bitch. almost.

you make me feel pretty. that sounds very arrogant and self centered. but really, you make me feel pretty and i really appreciate that. you even make me feel pretty with no teeth. that's pretty awesome.

i like how our smiles match. matched. will match again. :D

you let me set the pace. even though you walk really really fast, you slow down for me. and i'll try to walk faster in the future...but i'm not making any promises.

also, with that, you're really patient.

you're so weird and hilariously awkward. i loves it.

you like the way i talk. you're probably the only person in the whole entire world who does. =]

ok. i admit it. i like your hugs.

i like how much you let me get away with. i keep pushing your buttons and you still don't hate me for it.

i also love how you keep your cool. even if you're annoyed or irritated, you still keep your head in line.

you're brutally honest, even though your opinions don't matter sometimes, you still voice them.

and with that, i like how you don't shove your ideas and views down people's throats and understand that some people just don't give a shit about stuff. :]

i like how much you like cats. honestly, the title of your cat post reminds me of lady gaga's "boys, boys, boys" just the title though. haha

i like...how you get me. i dunno, i feel like you get me in a way that no one else does and...i dunno. it's pretty cool.

i loves how adorable you are.

i like how you can get along with just about anyone. you can just start talking to a random person like you've known them forever.

you take criticism really well. no matter how brutal.

i like how you smell

i like how open you are about pretty much everything.

so. be my valentine?

conformist.

you. make. me. sick.

you have no substance of your own.

you want a passion, a purpose, a voice of your own.

but you are just an echo.

you mistake your echo for a voice of your own.

you mistake your fighting for a purpose.

you mistake your passing fancy for a passion.

you. are. nothing.

you don't know who you are, what you're doing and why you're doing it.

you think you're someone, but you're not.

you think you're doing something, but you're not.

you think you know why you're doing it, but you don't.

you are just a follower, someone who jumps on a bandwagon.

you are the type to give your all into anything you set your mind to, so don't think that you genuinely care about something just because you give it 120%. you really don't. it's just your nature, your personality to do and overdo it. it's not a passion.

it's so sad. because you have so much potential, so much to bring to anything you want, but you lack...love.

you don't love anything. everything is just a phase, you're all about it today. but what about tomorrow? what about next week? what about next year?

you're so indecisive. you think that just because you like it at the moment, you love it. but once you get into it, you realize how shallow you really are and back out when it's too late.

and guess what. it's too late.

god damn you.

stop making me feel so special.

バルンタインデー

大めぐるみがほしいです！

FUCKING SHIT!

GAH.

and the worst part is knowing that i did it to myself. IT'S ALL MY MOTHERFUCKING FAULT.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

carmex

i had a dream last night that someone...i don't remember who, but i someone i know, i think even a family member, but anyway.

i was putting on carmex and that someone was all like "you should put carmex on like thiiis" and i was just like "wtf. really?" LOL

yeah. lame dream, but i was pretty irritated.

moral of the story: don't say stupid shit around me.

:/

koreans fail at being gentlemen. fo real.

blargh!

i can't write anything anymore!!!!!!!!! i'm so tiredddddddddddddddd

SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

ugh. i feel like i've been given a second chance. and knowing me, i'd blow it off. just like i do all the time. =[

it's like that one episode of the simpsons when bart prays for a snow day and god gives him a snow day so he can retake a test LOL gahhhhh don't fuck with me like this godddd i'm not worthyyyy

明日、勉強しょう！たくさん勉強しなくちゃいけません！

pictures traumatized me.

ok. first of all, beer bongs do not make you look sexy. like ever.

and second of all. shit. some pictures should never be posted. like ever. and if they are, make sure you are not tagged in them. ugh. i shudder at the thought of it.

teeeeths

i have wiggly teeth.

haven't had those in a while.

they're loads of fun :]

when my tongue gets tired of wiggling them, i wiggle them with my fingers.

i have to admit, it kinda hurts.

but it's so funnnn xD

for the love of god.

just stfu. i'm not giving you any pity, all your motherfucking excuses are just making you look more pathetic and...you just need to shut the hell up before i...i don't even know what i'm going to do...and that should make you worried.

late night anxiety

i don't know what i'm doing in life. i have no idea what i'm doing, or what's even going on. and the sad thing is, i don't even realize it. =[

i feel like i'm just going with the flow of things and getting swept up in everything. i feel like i'm just floating around not able to stand my ground and eventually i'm just going to fly away like a balloon off it's string and i'm not gonna have any control over my life.

maybe everything's going fine and i'm just freaking out because i'm not doing what everyone else is doing right now. but i'm not supposed to be doing what their doing. i should be doing my own thing. thing is, i'm not sure how to do that either.

man. i should really go talk to an advisor about this. :/

UGH.

the saddest, or most frustrating, part is that i feel like i've just been wasting my time. and not only was i just wasting my time, but i was straight up fucking myself over and for what? "exploring what's out there"?! FUCK THAT. i've known what i've wanted to do even before i started going to school. i should have never let everyone else tell me otherwise, i should have just followed my heart and pursued the dreams that i had for me instead of doing something to impress everyone else. fuck. god. wasted my own fucking time.

yes. i'm editing this post for the second time tonight. i'm very emotionally...unstable right now.

anyway.

siiiiiiiiiighhhhh.

you know what. i'm proud of myself. i'm not doing well right now. but i'm getting better. i've hit rock bottom, yes. and i shouldn't be expecting myself to be flying right now (although, many people expect me to just pick myself up just like that [NOT exactly possible, ESPECIALLY when you're not the cream of the crop, such as myself]). but i feel that i'm really...really getting better. i haven't gotten worse. and i believe that i'm going to continue to keep getting better until i can satisfy everyone's expectations of me.

wahhh. i'll feel better. :D

bitches.

i'm not a bitch.

i speak my opinions but instead of just talking someone's ear off, i'm heard.

i stand my ground but instead of being stubborn, i'm open to compromise.

i depend on other people, but they depend on me too.

i tell it like it is, but i'm nice.

i'm bold, but not stupid.

i know you can't handle me at my worst, so i'm always at my best.

who the hell thinks that blabbing your ass off like you matter all the time and being some ignorant dumbass makes you a strong woman? yes, we women have taken back the word "bitch" but that's not all we are. we aren't bitches. we are ladies; worthy of respect and appreciation. just because you have something to say doesn't mean that you have to say it, just because you believe in something, strongly, doesn't mean that the other side is entirely wrong.

but i guess bitches aren't classy enough to be ladies.

new years resolusion

1. don't die.

"you don't know me" pt. 2

"you don't know me! you don't know who i've been with, what i've been through, who i went through it with, who i am, what i feel blahlbahblah"

well, duh, because if i did, you'd call me a stalker.

can't please you. bitch.